The Art of Coaching Read online

  A month later, and after many coaching sessions, Jackie ran into my manager. She thanked her profusely for assigning me as her coach and praised my work. That year, though Jackie had many areas in which she wanted to grow and her progress was slow, she made a significant impact on her teachers and students. Her school's test scores skyrocketed, her leadership with the parent community was publicly recognized, and her contract was renewed.

  At the end of the two years that I coached her, Jackie shared that of the three coaches she'd worked with, I was the first whom she really trusted.

  “What was different?” I asked.

  “I think I just felt from the beginning that you really cared about me,” she said, “that you didn't believe all the rumors you'd heard, and you were really invested in my success. I felt like you saw me as a human being and not just a principal.”

  What Is Trust?

  In the enrollment stage the goal is to determine the work that the coach will do with the client, which is articulated in the work plan (see Chapter Seven). But the greater goal is to gain the client's trust. This is a challenging end point to evaluate, as it resides almost exclusively in the subjective and volatile realms of emotions and beliefs.

  What is trust? Exploring a definition can provide insight into how we develop this elusive but essential quality. Stephen M. R. Covey, author of The Speed of Trust (2008), defines trust as the feeling of confidence we have in another's character and competence. Character comprises integrity, which in turn includes how honest we are and how aligned our actions are with what we say. It also encompasses intent: What is our agenda? Are we really here to help or serve another, or do we have hidden agendas? The confidence we have in another's competence will also build or decrease our trust. Does the other person have the skills, abilities, attitudes, and knowledge that we need? Can he produce the results he says he will? Distrust, therefore, arises from suspicion of integrity and capabilities (Covey, 2008).

  Another definition proposes that “distrust is not merely the absence of trust, but is an active negative expectation regarding another” (Lewicki and Wiethoff, 2000, p. 87). This definition yields insights for those of us working in contexts in which “active negative expectations regarding another” can be a part of a school's history and culture, as well as in the experiences of anyone who has spent any time—including as a child—in schools. Therefore, as a coach, we might encounter a first-year teacher who already has an active negative expectation of those in positions of authority in a school because of her own experience as a student, or we might work in a school that has had a great deal of turnover in administration or that feels that the district's central office has made decisions that negatively affect them. These negative experiences can contribute to a distrusting institutional memory.

  Gaining and maintaining a client's trust is paramount; this is a key moment for coaching to be practiced as an art. Coaching is not just a technical application of tools; following a step-by-step routine will not necessarily gain someone's trust. A coach's emotional intelligence will be essential: How well does he know himself? How aware is he of the impact of his verbal and nonverbal communication? Does he notice the subtle shifts in a client's emotional states, and can he adjust to meet those? Is he aware of his own judgment and opinions about a client? A coach needs to be able to reflect on his integrity, intentions, and communication skills in order to effectively build a relationship. Because so much hinges on a coach's ability to gain trust, it is critical that a coach has a reflective practice and, ideally, a space where he can engage with coach-colleagues and be supported. We'll return to this topic in Chapter Fifteen.

  Useful Lenses for This Stage

  The lens of emotional intelligence and the lens of adult learning can be very useful at this point. They remind us to pay attention to how a client is experiencing emotions and to how she expresses (or doesn't express) her emotions. In initial meetings with clients, we need to carefully attend to body language, verbal expression, and choice of words. As we engage in conversations, we need to tune in to emotional subcurrents.

  The lens of adult learning reminds us that as coaches, it is our job is to determine where someone is on their path to learning. We are reminded that everyone is on a journey, and we must accept people wherever they are at this moment. This lens pushes us to find out where our client is on her learning journey, where she has been, and where she wants to go. Our agenda—or the one we are sent in to implement—is put on hold while we explore who we are sitting with and her concerns as an adult learner.

  It's also important to acknowledge that levels of trust can be affected by differences between a coach's gender, race, age, cultural background, or sexual orientation and those of the client. This is simply a reality to be aware of and to possibly explore.

  Ten Steps to Building Trust

  The following ten suggestions are very relevant to the initial period of working together, what we call the “enrollment process,” the stage of ensuring that the client buys into coaching. But trust is not simply built and left standing; it needs to be maintained and occasionally patched up. These steps are relevant across the duration of a coaching relationship.

  Administrator: these ten steps will also be useful to address issues of trust at a site.

  Plan and Prepare

  The first meetings with a client, or a potential client, should be carefully planned. Write up the questions you want to ask and anticipate the questions you might receive. Visualize the first meetings and the outcomes that you want to achieve. If you have a coach colleague, you can role-play or rehearse meetings. It's imperative that you feel confident, clear, and prepared. Your client will be watching you and listening to you very, very carefully. She will be looking for indicators of your competence, credibility, integrity, and character.

  Exhibit 5.1 presents some questions you might want to include in your plan for your first meeting.

  Cautiously Gather Background Information

  Before meeting a new client, you might be tempted to speak to others who know this person, but this should be done with caution. While it can be helpful to gather impressions of the person you might coach, and some of that information can be instructive on how to gain that person's trust, it is also possible that what you hear could influence your feelings and beliefs about the individual. It is essential that you go into your first meetings with as many positive feelings about the client as possible. Therefore, if you hear things that plant seeds of doubt in your mind, it might be harder to listen deeply. Furthermore, do not underestimate the other person's ability to subconsciously pick up on what's lurking right beneath your coach-surface.

  For my own integrity, and so that I can best get to know my client, I try to know as little as possible about a potential client before I meet him. I suggest that you don't gather information in advance unless you have a very trusted colleague who understands the work of coaching. If that person exists, you might want to ask questions such as these:

  What do you think are his strengths as a teacher or leader?

  What might be important for me to know in order to build trust with him?

  Are there any specific words or phrases that I could use that might resonate with him or be a trigger?

  Is there anything in my own background that you think might be worth sharing with him?

  Exhibit 5.1. Questions to Pose in Your First Meeting with a New Client

  The following questions should be incorporated in such a way that the meeting proceeds more like a conversation than an interview or an interrogation. Not all of them need to be asked at every meeting. You can also return to this list in your second or third meeting with a new coachee.

  Background

  Can you tell me about why you went into teaching and/or administration? What drew you to this field?

  What do you enjoy about your position?

  What is challenging about it?

  What do you think are your strengths?

  What do you t
hink are your areas for growth?

  Outside of work, what are your interests and passions?

  Relationships

  How would you describe your relationship with your principal?

  How would you describe your relationship with your colleagues?

  How would you describe your relationship with your students?

  How would you describe your relationship with your students' parents?

  Do you have colleagues (on-site or off-site) that you trust? That you feel good about collaborating with?

  Professional Development and Coaching Experience

  How do you feel that you learn best? Can you tell me about a powerful learning experience you've had over your time as an educator?

  Have you worked with a coach before? Describe that experience. What worked well? Were there things that didn't work for you?

  What's prompted you to explore coaching now?

  What is your understanding of what coaching is? Of my role?

  What are your hopes and fears for our work?

  What do you need from me as a coach?

  Is there anything I should know that would help me in my work with you? That would make our work together more effective?

  Is there anything you'd like to know about me that would help make our work more effective?

  What do you anticipate might be a challenge or get in the way of our working together?

  How can I support you when those challenges arise?

  What would you like me to hold you to, as far as your engagement with coaching?

  Additional Questions for Administrators

  What grade level(s) and content area(s) did you teach?

  What other roles have you held?

  What's surprised you about being a leader?

  What are this school's or network's strengths? What does it have going for it?

  What are the big issues and challenges for this school or network right now?

  Are there any other big issues that you anticipate might come up this year?

  How would you describe your relationship with teachers? With other staff? With your colleagues? With your students and their parents?

  Remember that in order to gain trust, you will need to establish credibility. One way of doing this is by demonstrating that you know what you're doing, which is particularly hard to do when you're a new coach! You can show that you know what you're doing by coming to a first conversation with some knowledge about what your client is dealing with. If you are coaching a principal, for example, you might be able to do some online research into the site's history, test scores, and so on. However, in a first meeting you also need to allow your client to be the expert and the one supplying the context. Many people who receive coaching feel vulnerable about what has been said about them or their school, so in some cases you can gain trust by not coming in with information from external sources. When in doubt, my advice is to start with as little information in your mind as possible. This will allow you to be more completely focused on the person in front of you and to be authentically curious about who he is, where he's been on his learning journey, and where he wants to go.

  This is not to say, however, that you won't do some research later. In order to better support your client and to effect systemic change, you'll need to do some research (more on this in Chapter Six). But first you need to enroll your client—and this is harder to do if you've heard that he's been bounced around from school to school, that parents hate him, or that he's dismissive of students with learning disabilities. Proceed into the realm of research with caution.

  Establish Confidentiality

  In your first conversation with a client—or, better yet, in an e-mail before you even meet—establish confidentiality. Repeat this several times during the first few conversations. For most clients, this will be extremely important and you will need to be absolutely true to your word. Be warned: if you violate the confidentiality agreement, you may never be able to regain a client's trust.

  Here's what I usually say, immediately after sitting down for the first conversation:

  “Before we get started, I want to return to what I shared in my e-mail about the confidentiality of our conversations. Our conversations are absolutely confidential. I will not discuss what we talk about with your supervisor or anyone else. If I ever need to e-mail your principal or supervisor about something we talked about, I will CC you on it. I would speak to him or her in person about you only if you are present.”

  Although complete confidentiality is necessary for coaching to work, there may be times when principals and supervisors want to know about the work. In that case, it is important that the client is also aware of exactly what will and won't be communicated and how it will be communicated. Supervisors also need to know that a confidentiality agreement exists between the coach and client. Staff development experts Joeleen Killion and Cindy Harrison (2006) suggest that coaches share the four Ts: teacher, time, topics, and tasks. The first T identifies the person receiving coaching support (the teacher, in their framework). If you are working at a school, or within a network, then the principal or supervisor is informed about which teacher is receiving coaching. Second, a coach shares how much time is spent with the coachee each week or month. Third, a coach names the topics that are being worked on. For example, “Mr. Smith and I are looking at formative assessment strategies for academic vocabulary.” Finally, a coach describes the tasks that she is doing with the coachee. For example: “I am observing Mr. Smith and offering feedback. We read an article together.”

  The coaching log shown in Exhibit 5.2 is a tool that can be used to report to supervisors (and a blank version can be found on my website). This can be completed by the coach and client at the end of each meeting and given to the supervisor or stored on an online platform that all parties can access. The only exception is when the coach hears anything that puts the safety of another person—adult or child—at risk. And, of course, if we hear or see our client doing something illegal, we are obligated to report it.

  Exhibit 5.2. Coaching Log

  Coach _____

  Coachee _____

  As coaches, we must be careful to share only information that is nonevaluatory. This information is best communicated in a monthly report (see Chapter Fourteen) that is e-mailed to both the coachee's supervisor and the coachee. The more formalized, the better.

  For coaching to be most effective, the client must feel confident that you will not share any information with his supervisor. You will need to state this intention when you first meet, you will need to repeat it, and you will need to be very careful when you're in the same room with your coachee and his evaluator—your client will be watching you closely to see if you reveal anything. And again, be warned: if you break the confidentiality agreement, you may never be able to regain your client's trust and, as a result, there will be no coaching. And if you violate the trust of a teacher, for example, you can be fairly certain that that teacher will speak to his colleagues about you and they will not trust you or be receptive to your coaching. Be very, very careful. On the other hand, after you've established yourself as a trustworthy coach, positive word of mouth will get around. When you are enrolling a client and discussing confidentiality, you can refer your new client to others who may vouch for your trustworthiness. This can make the enrollment process quicker and easier.

  Listen

  From the very first time you meet with a client, you'll want to demonstrate your listening skills. A client will be very attuned—consciously or unconsciously—to your capacity to listen deeply. The purpose of deep listening is for you to truly perceive and understand where the client is coming from and his deeper desires and fears, so that you can guide him into territory that he may not even be aware he needs to explore. A big step toward building trust with a client is your ability to listen.

  In coaching, we listen deeply, without ego or attachment; we are listening with acceptance. When clients experience this, they develop confi
dence in you and in your integrity. Give your coachee this experience the first time you meet: it is a way for you to demonstrate your intent to create a reflective learning space, and it will help him begin to trust you.

  Active listening is a useful strategy for a first meeting. Active listening requires us to restate or paraphrase what the client has said, both to check our own understanding and let the client know that he's been heard. Furthermore, when a coach says, “I'm hearing … Is that accurate?” it invites the client to build on what he has shared.

  Chapter Eight is all about listening; there's lots more to say. You might want to read that chapter before engaging in first meetings with new clients.

  Ask Questions

  Your initial meetings with a client are an opportunity for you to demonstrate your skill. Coaching questions can shift a client's perceptions, deepen learning, move actions, and transform practice. But given that so much is at stake in the first meetings, and that you can't anticipate and plan for everything that someone else will say, what can you ask? Clarifying questions are usually safe and often productive. Simply asking for more information—Could you tell me more about that?—can be revealing. Your client can experience it as an invitation to go deeper in her thinking, to share a next layer of reflection. It is a way for you to express interest in the other person. It is often surprising what another person will share when you simply ask for more. While you don't want the first meetings to feel like interrogations, asking clarifying questions is generally a safe route.